Ask The Richard: A Question For The Richard

Ask The Richard: A Question For The Richard: Ask the Richard To The Richard: Has the Game and Fishy Commission come up with any new regulations this year? Beryl Treely Pine...

A Question For The Richard

Ask the Richard

To The Richard:

Has the Game and Fishy Commission come up with any new regulations this year?

Beryl Treely

Pine Forest, Arkansas

Dear Beryl:

Yes! Here are just a few of the ones that might affect our hunters and fishermen.

(1)  The Feral hog season has been expanded to include hogs named Bubba and Earl

(2)  The Commission---considering the safety of ladies---has passed rule prohibiting wives from visiting deer camps---unless delivering beer.

(3)  Arkansas States new mascot, the Red Wolves has been declared offensive to wolves, and the Commission has decided the Arkansas State mascot should be, The "Taters."

(4)  The Commission acknowledged all of Arkansas's quail are gone, and in a stroke of brilliance, changed the name of the bird once called a Robin to Quail, and solved the disappearing quail problem.

(5)        A final regulation would require the tagging of Panthers and Buffalo---just in case.

Ask The Richard: Ask the Richard

Ask The Richard: Ask the Richard: To The Richard I understand as South Arkansas continues to lose population it is in danger of becoming a wilderness again. Do you see...

Ask the Richard

To The Richard

I understand as South Arkansas continues to lose population it is in danger of becoming a wilderness again. Do you see any evidence of that happening?

Miss Donna Fay Triassic

Lost Valley, Arkansas

Dearest Donna Fay;

You bet I do. Listed below are several items that might show a trend toward South Arkansas becoming a wilderness.

(1) The state legislature will consider a bill to make L. A. (Lower Arkansas) a territory again. Everything south of Fordyce will be known as the Territory of Lower Arkansas, and custom and immigration checkpoints will be manned along with Border Patrol stations.

(2) Sarah Palin has registered a homestead south of Luann.

(3) Two Red Wolf packs have returned and are terrorizing Hampton. Beavers have dammed the Ouachita River just north of Camden, and Kudzu has enveloped Bradley County.

(4) El Dorado will become the territorial capital next year, and the local Sons of Confederate veterans, Three Creeks chapter, will man all police stations and border crossings.

Answer: All of the above; welcome to L. A!

Ask The Richard: Ask The Richard

Ask The Richard: Ask The Richard: To The Richard : Will there be any unusual bills passed by the leg at the next session? Cindy Fay Night Cave City, Arkansas ...

Ask The Richard

To The Richard:

Will there be any unusual bills passed by the leg at the next session?

Cindy Fay Night

Cave City, Arkansas

Possible answers:

(1) You bet! Hey, Cindy, have you forgotten this is Arkansas? Well, I have heard a bill will be introduced to make Arkansas State change their mascot's name from the Curly Red Wolves to the "Taters." It seems Curly Red Wolves is offence to wolves.

(2) After protests from Sheridan residents about loss of income from the new bypass, the leg will pass a bill to move the town to straddle the bypass and install 6 new red lights.

(3) A bill called Open Carry, Stand Your Ground, and Shoot First will pass by voice vote and be signed by the Governor.

Answer: All of the above but # 3 has the best chance.

From the Sage of South Arkansas

Ask The Richard

To The Richard

Think them Hogs will whip up on Alabama this year?

Dunn A. Hammers

Neverland, Arkansas

Well, that will take some real thinking on my part since Arkansas recruited 6 Sumo wrestlers out of Tokyo, and our offense line requires a fork lift as team equipment. So here's my shot:

(1)  Yes, but only if the prophesy from the book of Hezekiah. Chapter 23, vs 34. Is fulfilled. It says, "Yea, therefore, verily I say unto you, the rabble of the south shall pour fourth Crimson upon the lords of the north, and therefore they shall be taken up by the carrion of the air to be devoured by the hosts of the desert." Roughly translated, means, "If Alabama's front 4 are drafted by the NBA in their sophomore year, and it turns out Alabama's tight ends have been genenectially, engineered like their cheerleaders, and if we have another winter such as last year, and if we see ice forming on the gates of hell, we will prevail!